What are some ways to minimize the potential for regret when making tough decisions?

Question

What are some ways to minimize the potential for regret when making tough decisions?

Answer 1

Decision-making is tough. A choice that seems good today may be the biggest mistake you've ever made. For me, the best way to make decisions is to base them on Bible principles. Isaiah 48:17, 18 says that Jehovah God wants us to benefit ourselves and if we pay attention to his advice we'll have "peace like a river" and "righteousness like the waves of the sea." Can you imagine unending peace? So the advice contained in the bible is for our own good. In regards to material things, Matthew chapter 6 has some excellent advice, namely, not to worry needlessly about them. Verse 33 says to "seek the kingdom first and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you." I try to remember to pray before every major decision, sometimes many times before I get an answer and ask for clear direction. It's worked for me so far. Why doubt the one who has my best interest at heart?

Answer 2

I try to base my decisions on honesty. For example, my girlfriend of six months whom I live with came home the other night and cried to me that she was pregnant and was afraid to tell me because of her fear I would leave her if she had an abortion. I feel strongly against abortion. It hurts like hell to not support her decision and to let a relationship go that I adore. However, I have to be honest with both her and myself despite the short term heartache I am feeling. It is what it is and I have to accept it. She won't change her mind and is unwilling to discuss any alternatives. Though I cannot forsee the future and I have fears about the outcome, I feel in my heart I am making the right decision...it is hard though.

Answer 3

Follow your heart and make the best decision you can. Once the decision is made - it's made so regretting it won't help anything.



"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss"

-Jason Robert Brown, RENT

Answer 4

According to "networking to win" there are five stages to consider:



l. State the problem

2. Find the facts

3. Now state the REAL problem

4.List the options

5. Choose an option.



According to BBC news, a Dutch study tells us to "sleep on it"



Or you could follow the complicated, but useful, formula in Wikihow: http://www.wikihow.com/Make-Tough-Decisions-for-Yourself

Answer 5

Whatever you decide, based on the information you have at the time of your decision, you have to know that you did the best you could, and that the outcome could have easily gone a different way.

Answer 6

Omg!

I just went through this same dang! thing.

Working for one company, ,"X" ammount of dollars, pr. Hr. ...

And then someone mentioned a job opening, they said, they wouldnt ask for less than,"X'.

About $5.00 pr. hr. more then I was making, but no benefits.

But I was sure I would be able to move up, a five dollar an hour raise sounded really great, and I thought that was good enough, to replace the bennies I would have in just about another week or so...

@ 35 yrs. old, I think I am pretty sure about myself, and my decisions.

I took the other job.

It didn't pan out as planned.

I called my old job back, came back to work for them.

I realized at the end of my 1st day back, last Tue. that I was on the bottom of the Seniority list, my bennies were GONE!!! and I was back to a Sub- Driver, no longer a Hired on, driver.

I panicked, got depressed, didn't sleep well that night...No call no show the next day, associated with the depression I was experiencing.

They called me, left a message, and I went in and worked that Wed. afternoon...

I had a misersble 3 days back at that job, and I had a little problem yesterday.

I called in and Quit this morning.

Well I said, on an answering machine..."This is "x", I will not be comming in, Ever".

They kept calling me this morning, starting around 7.

I finally answered the phone about an hour ago...11.

I said, without putting my ear to the phone, just my mouth.

I will not be comming back. Quit calling me!

So now I am Jobless...



So to answer the Question...

Maybe I shoulda' said a prayer to God, and asked Him about leaving the initial Job first, or atleast prayed about it.

Then again, I suppose Icould have went to the Lady with the Crystal ball.

I do not think there is anything you can do.

We do not have an Oracle, we can consult.

You just have to go with your own gut feeling, and learn from your mistakes.

It upset me really bad to hear, that , I lost everything, when I took my old job back.

And so with that, and the incident, which took place last night...

I knew I was just not happy there in the first place.

So, wth?

DJH

Wow, I just got the 5 dollar an hr. more Job back...

So see...Go With Your Gut Feeling.

Amazing.

My other boss just called, and wow, just like...... COOL!!!!

Answer 7

Greetings.

If you Look at our Lives as Experiences, Obstacles, opportunities. to explore, and work through. Sometimes alone but often with others. So at the conclusion of it, wether it be relationships, jobs, decisions, we feel more fullfilled ,whole individuals ready to move on to more enlightened experiences. so on and so on..Understanding that none of them are failures, even if it seems like a disaster and regrets accompany it.. Remember out of chaos and failure comes enlightenment and success.The most successful people are those who failed many times, but never gave up, kept on trying.We learn from our failures. Success is the icing on the cake. It's the journey and how you personally deal with it.

That's important.. So put regrets behind and leave them in the Past, they are negative emotions and stunt ones growth..

2. At the time you make your decision you are are unaware of future outcomes, all you can deal with is, what you know and have learned up to that point.. As they say hind sight is 20- 20. So look forward to your next decision knowing you did the best with what you knew at the time..

3. One very good indicator to help you know if your Decision is going to be the right one or is the right one.. Is To think about it. If it's RIGHT YOU'LL GET, A WARM POSITIVE FEELING ABOUT YOUR CHOICE AND SMILE..

If the choice ISN'T THE RIGHT ONE..Then YOUR JAW WILL CLENCH UP, AND A NEGATIVE FEELING WILL BE THERE..

Try it you've nothing to lose. We don't listen to our intuision enough, even when it's shouting at us to make the right choice.

Well I'm sure this answered your question He! He! He! go try it and see just how well it works.

Ciao Lynda

Answer 8

when making tough decisions,I always narrow it by wrong or right, man keep it simple cause in our mind and hearts we do know what's right.

Answer 9

When making tough decisions, dedicate a respectful amount of time and attention to it. Critical decisions demand this. And once the decision is made, have conviction in your decision. Even if, sometime in the future, it is proven to be a bad decision, you can be at peace knowing it was what you truly believed to be the right thing at the time.



There is no room for regret in your decision making. Even bad decisions are an important part of the growing and learning process...

Answer 10

I am going to come at this from a psychological angle, as that is where my training lies:



1. I am going to assume that the person has already gone through the steps to ensure a wise and informed decision, as outlined in previous (great) answers before mine: collect all the information beforehand; assess what you want and need out of the situation; act in a way that gets you what you want and need; make a pros and cons list; etc.



2. The question of regretting a decision after it is made is more of a psychological one. Fear of regret over making a "bad" decision can actually have a negative impact on our ability to make decisions. Fear of regret can lead to procrastination about making the decision, and an unwillingness to take risks that could pay off.



To avoid that regret, there are two things that a person could do. The first is the first point, making an informed and well-thought out decision. The second is to recognize the potential for regret and to overcome it with some positive self talk. A person could say to themselves, "I made the best decision possible based on what I know," or "This is really what is best for me based on what I want and/or need right now."



After a decision is made, people actually have a tendency to disregard evidence that their decision is not the right one. This would also be a mistake, and it is related to the fear of regret. We don't want to regret our decisions and have a hard time admitting when we are wrong.



The trick would be to take a fear of regret out of decision-making as much as possible. That would entail not feeling guilty and beating yourself up about possibly making a bad decision. Possible self-talk could be things like, "I might make a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes. If I do make a mistake, I will do my best to correct it." And then re-evaluate the decision and take the necessary actions.



You'd also have to take into account the consequences of possibly making a bad decision. The consequences of wearing the wrong kind of shoes with your outfit are not nearly as serious as the consequences of, say, wrongly deciding not to take a bomb threat seriously. That is when the "well-informed and well-thought out" decision making process should be emphasized.

Answer 11

Because we have children (all young adults), we tend to pose the "tough questions" to a larger group, so there's more input and less chance to gloss over parts of the process that I may not personally like to look at (usually involving expenses or realistic logistics - I really believe I can be in three places at once!!). More people keeps you accountable and more likely to look at the situation from more sides if not all. My spouse and each of my kids are really different in how they ask questions, make decisions and come to concensus. Because you can process something for too long, though, we do set a time limit on when the final decision needs to be reached.

The important thing here is, if something about the decision goes wrong (like the boss at the new job is a jerk, or the new town we moved to doesn't have a good bookstore) - you never blame the folks that helped you reach the decision. Flip side - LOTS of kudos when things go right or even better than you could have hoped.

Good luck!! (and prayer NEVER hurts either)

Answer 12

If I have to make a decision between two things which seem equally important and good and I know it is going to be a really tough decision, I usually sit down and firstly write pros and cons of both. then I also make a Regret Table. What is this regret table, when I have written the pros and cons I make two seperate tables , a Cons Table and a Pros Table. This table has rows and columns like a usual table Put the Cons of one decision in the rows and the Cons of other in the columns. now write out which desicion with which Con will make you regret taking that desicion the most. Similarly do the Pros table. When I reach the conclusion I compare the two tables and see which one is the most regrettable decision. Meaning that If I take that step or decision am I going to regret the most. so this is how I take really tough decisions.

But there is one thing that I would like to say...because you have literally answered your own question "the grass always seems greener on the other side"

So remember that whatever decision you take you might make you will have some twinges of regret which says "What if". This is natural human tendency. What one has to do in this situation is that we must at all times have confidence in ourselves and go ahead with whatever decision one has made. This ensures that you will be successful in whatever you do if you show confidence in yourself!

So whatever Decision you make Have confidence that it was the BEST DECISION!!



Cheers

Answer 13

First, you must know your True Will. That is not as easy as it sounds, because it means you must reflect on what your real goals are, what your real moral values are. So let's say you've done some work on this, and figure you know pretty much what you consider truly important.



The best way is to write a list of pros and cons for the two decisions. Four columns: for plan A, against plan A, for plan B, against plan B. Not everything which is for plan A is automatically against plan B, or vice versa. Sometimes you are really looking around for plan C, or for "none of the above.



Now when you read the columns over, use a highlighter pen or two (or if you're very 21 century and have done this on the computer, use bold and italics) to emphasize the most important points in each column.



If it still looks pretty even, ask a trusted adviser to go over it with you.

Answer 14

Dear Mario:

If you can honestly say the matter your contending with in any given moment will have real life IMPACT five years down the road first and foremost DONT just pray.

Seek out a trusted friend PREFERABLY a non-lawyer INITIALLY such as a family priest or other spiritual ad visor.

If after giving said ad visor ALL the facts and you feel in your heart your course of action is the right one NOT JUST FOR YOU, than by all means proceed and like Harry S Truman lose not a wink of sleep over your decision.

Sincerely,

John P Quinn

[e-mail]

Answer 15

I like to do a best and worst scenario and get really out to the edge of the worst. Then, if I can think of nothing that I simply could not tolerate, I decide to go with no regrets at all. If the negative consequences are obviously intolerable, I back off. Either way, be decisive: make the decision and NEVER waste time second guessing, guilting or "shoulding" on yourself.

Answer 16

1. Look at all the long-term factors that influence the situation. Not easy to do.



2. To the best of your ability evaluate those long-term factors, relate them to eachother in a way that creates a "power" ladder, that is, one factor will eventually predominate over all others.



3. Disregard those you have no influence over... And finally,



4. Choose that one.... the one, the most powerful factor/influence which favorably influences your personal situation.



5. Stick to your decision until circumstances prove you have made the correct decision or not.

-----------



"Solving long-term problems generally makes short-term issues take care of themselves."



When I need to look at a serious problem, I take a sheet of paper, draw a line down the middle, then list the positive on one side and negative characteristics on the other, and then prioritize them. In your case, choosing between two things, I would draw another line down each half and list the positives and negatives regarding each business.

The most important characteristics, say the top three in each, will help you determine not just the problem, but help you determine how you think about it - and that may be the most valuable lesson of all.

Answer 17

Best to just follow your heart to avoid regret as much as possible. Making a Pro vs. Con sheet, (with a line down the centre of the page) can be very helpful since it is all there in black and white. You could also show it to someone else who is successful in their all-around life, and has judgement you trust. But be aware that even doing so, regret can easily spring up by doing what you think is the right thing, and that usually happens when you help someone else only to find out they don't appreciate what you did. In the end, I believe regret comes from going against what you feel is natural and feels right. If your conscience hounds you, it's time to set things right as best you can and move on.

Answer 18

This is what I do -



1. List the positives and negatives of a decision. While listing

the negatives , always choose worst case scenario. Where

as in the positives , just be conservative.

2. Match them with your long terms objectives ( personal /

professional ).

3. Match them with your liking and disliking ( personal /

professional )

4. Find out the best option after going through 1 , 2 and 3.

5. Make a contious decision to go with it.



Hope this helps.

Answer 19

In the words of David Crockett, "First, be sure you're right; then, go ahead." If you're afraid to make mistakes and worry about being wrong, you almost assure that you won't do your best. Some people accept mediocrity, and many organizations demand it. The military, for instance, periodically adopt a "zero defect" policy that means they'll have few real negatives, but also few real positives. Decisions should be made on the understanding that risks are needed for best results.

Answer 20

Sometimes if you project yourself into the future and think truly what that decision did in the good interest of everyone around you,and did it take away any of the precious time we have with our loved ones in any way that you missed out on.

That is a very good question, and I will be reading the answers you get.

Answer 21

Normally, I don't use spiritual answers in yahoo questions, but I'll do that here. I use meditation and faith to help me get through a tough decision. Common sense is one thing, but a decision based on God's love has always worked for me. I just ask Spirit to help me go in the right direction, and it's always aided me. Sometimes, I get guided without asking. Just imo.

Answer 22

Easy,



Make sure that every decision you make is done for the right reason. It doesn't matter the outcome, only the intent. Then there's no regrets.





Cheers



Bronco

Answer 23

WHat you always need to think about is a fresh start, a new beginning. In the words of Joyce Meyer, we cannot go back in time, we cannot live in the past with past failures and past mistakes. You move on and forget the past and forgive yourself and those around you and just say oh well today is a new beginning.

Answer 24

Like i reported in the different one i basically responded...nicely i drink some beers and take under consideration... convinced its overwhelming for particular.. reason they are all sturdy.. each and every now and then its so complicated .. i understand been there fairly some cases..sturdy q btw..

Answer 25

I'm a bad one to ask, I'm constantly second guessing myself.